This propels their wishy-washy agenda (that’s always in “self-serving” mode).īottom line: Mixed signals are utilized to propel the agenda of buying time to reap benefits that should be EARNED – not given out because future faking words are spoken (that always end up contradicting actions). When someone is giving you mixed signals, it’s generally because they want to buy as much time as they can where they can reap all the BENEFITS of having a mutual relationship and a monogamous, serious partner, without having to do much on their end. I think about the times in my life where I’ve given mixed signals and if I’m really being honest with myself, it all boils down to time, effort, and agenda. The biggest mixed signal out there is the lie we tell ourselves – that superficial attributes are a precursor to the most substantial attribute of all: character. The other stuff is just icing.Īnd character is not something that can be learned or bought. While all of those are fine attributes to have, what good is the best icing in the world going to do if it’s on a cardboard cake?Ĭharacter is the CAKE. I used to think that a winning personality, power, talent, fame, education, money, good looks, accomplishments, charm, chivalry, being able to throw a ball at a professional level, languages spoken, trips taken, sense of humor, bond with family, etc., were indicators of character. Character is nothing more than matching your words with your actions (which match patterns). The common denominator of all mixed signals is a lack of character. How to decode mixed signals in relationships? Recognize the denominator. You are on a crumb diet – always investigating whether or not it is indeed a crumb that you were just given (and not a “smaller” loaf). You’re now the reject of your own life story sitting on the sidelines of the dance floor with no rhythm, while your emotional DJ of a partner mixes more signals for everyone else to dance to. ![]() There’s always an excuse that contradicts the guy he was in the beginning.Īnd if you ever kindly address any of the above contradictions, you’re met with defensiveness and are made to look/feel crazy. “He basically screened me in the beginning and said that he’s only looking for something serious, but now, every chance that we have to move the relationship forward, he recoils.“He says that he’s completely over his ex and not in communication with her, but he likes and comments on her photos.”.“He says that he’s only interested in me, but his profiles on dating apps are still up.”.“We’ve been dating for months, but I don’t even know if we’re official? I don’t know how he truly feels.”.And he uses my need for clarification against me.” “He told me that I could talk to him about anything, but whenever I talk about how I feel, it freaks him out.“He was so connected and attentive in the beginning and now, he’s cold.“He said that he had never felt this way before… then he recoiled and disappeared.”. ![]()
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